Hard Things

So I'm sitting here on my couch, joking around on Facebook, and pretending like nothing is wrong.

But things are wrong.

My mom is watching this documentary about a family whose oldest son set the family up to be killed as they walked through the front door of their own home. A armed man was waiting inside as the youngest son walked through the door. The father barely survived, and the mother and younger son were killed. This makes me sick. I'm sitting here crying as the oldest son, Bart, tells a reporter about how he planned it all...how the four of them were sitting at a restaurant eating dinner just minutes before it happened...how his brother Kevin looked up to him and was the one who was shot first...how he had the shooter shoot him in the arm to make Bart look innocent...how he stayed with his dad for six months acting like the perfect comforting son and lying to his face...how that wasn't the first time he planned that attack...

I had to turn it off.

This isn't even the reason I started writing this blog. But how does someone do that?! You can't blame it on the family; they loved him. They were even a strong, Christian family.

Actually, one thing that did impress me was the father of that family--I think his name was Kent. He was a strong Christian, God-centered man. On the same night that he and his family were shot, he asked God for the strength to forgive whoever did this to his family. As Bart was talking to the lawyer from death row in Texas, he said that before his dad found out who the killer was, he had truly forgiven them. And that he truly forgave him...

But it makes me sick to see the son so calm about telling the story and seeing the pictures of his mutilated brother...I just wish that there wouldn't be this kind of hurt and pain and cruelty in the world. I wish that people could see that Jesus is the only way and I wish that they would model their lives after Him.

I'm sorry; I just wanted to rant.

Anyway...I am watching D2 (Mighty Ducks 2) now. And what this blog started out to be was me talking about how hard things don't always look the same. Or at least in my life. I always think it's going to be some huge, gigantic, I-am-big-huge-ugly-and-scary thing, but usually, it sneaks right past me and all of a sudden I'm faced with it.

And this time, I was sooo not expecting it.

My current problem goes something like this: To set the background, my dad tore his ACL in his right knee. He has been hobbling around on crutches and denying the fact that he now needs help to do things. I've been trying to be helpful because I am now on Summer Vacation and my mom and my sister still work and go to school (my mom is a teacher). SO, I was planning on going to the When God Dreams Conference in Redding from May 7th-9th. I had everything worked out: I was going to stay with Jenna at the Gafner's, it was going to be epic because I knew the speakers would be great and the worship would be great...then, I was talking to my mom about it, and I mentioned the dates. She says, "The 7th-9th?! Oh no." So I said, "No, I'll be back before Mother's Day." "No, no..it's not that...it's just that dad's surgery is the 5th and I'll be needing your help..."

Awesome.

So like I said, I did not see this one coming. I have to choose between helping my dad after his surgery and a mind-blowing weekend learning about God...

Again, awesome.

So, I'm trying to not be too hasty about anything, but I realized I hadn't blogged in awhile and this is big. So thanks for listening--er--reading. :T